banner

The New Stuff

2990 Views

Comfort Conversations: Tackle Your Fear on Wheels with Dale Spencer


Join us every month for Comfort Conversations, a discussion series led by our Ambassadors who share their thoughts on issues affecting wheelchair users worldwide. Today’s topic is on the role of overcoming fear, written by Comfort Ambasssador Dale Spencer. A renowned public speaker, Dale takes his audiences on a journey of real-life experiences and revelations. Together they identify obstacles, both professional and personal, which are common roadblocks to achieving success. By reintroducing us to the skills we already have, Dale is able to illuminate the road to success.  Learn more about the Comfort Ambassadors here.

dale with dogsFear had haunted me, like many of us.  The fear of rejection, judgment, failure and even success has prevented us, at times, from being successful in life.  I often worried about how I was going to perform on a test or finish a chore to my parents’ satisfaction.  In school, it was a fear that people thought less of me if I stated my opinion, wore a certain outfit, or the way I played a sport.  There were days I did not want to go to school because that fear of judgment had invaded my thoughts.

These type of fears can stop us in our tracks, especially after injury, resulting in the lack of forward progress. 

I thought I knew how fear affected my life.  Little did I know that paled in comparison to what I experienced on December 2nd, 1988.  I was walking with friends to a party.  On the way, I took a short cut which was to walk on railroad tracks.  This was not the safest course but we wanted to get to that beer and to those girls.  I proceeded to walk across a railroad bridge and slipped on a railroad tie and fell off to the side.  The drop was approximately four stories and I landed in a shallow river.

Luckily, I was conscious and tried to get out of danger.  Unfortunately, my legs did not agree and would not move.   My only choice was to yell out to my friends to help.  They found me, I explained what happened and they ran to a nearby house to call for an ambulance.  Moments later, the paramedics arrived, secured and transported me to a nearby hospital.  From there, I was taken by helicopter to a Level One trauma center.

Dale Spencer appears often on tv, and at public speaking events, addressing the topic of overcoming fear.

Dale Spencer appears often on tv, and at public speaking events, addressing the topic of overcoming fear.

Dale’s Fear Becomes Reality

fear-quoteOnce I arrived, I was given a battery of tests, exams, and X-rays.  It was conclusive that I sustained a Spinal Cord Injury and there was a good chance that I would never be able to walk again.  Remember those fears I spoke of?  Well, multiply that by thousands and you may have an idea what I was experiencing. Questions ran through my mind endlessly:

  • You mean I will not be able to play sports?
  • Will I have to use a wheelchair from now on?
  • Will any girl ever date me again?
  • Will I go back to school?
  • Heck, will I even get out of the hospital?

I was in surgery for 12 hours to repair my back and now I have 12-inch rods fused to my spinal column.  To compound the situation, I had spent two weeks in ICU with a back brace on even before going to rehab.  I was only at the tip of the iceberg regarding my recovery.  After that 2-week stint, I was transferred to a nearby rehabilitation clinic.  The therapists/nurses/doctors’ main goal was to help me to become independent.

This all sounded great in theory – but I had no clue how arduous of a process this would be. 

Dale often teaches young professionals who will be working with people who have disabilities to help them be better prepared for support and encouragement.

Dale often teaches young professionals who will be working with people who have disabilities to help them be better prepared for support and encouragement.

Dale Tackles His Fear in Rehab

Physical therapists helped me regain my lost strength, and occupational therapists helped me to utilize this strength and momentum to become proficient at simple, daily tasks during the course of any day.  For example, they helped me problem solve a way to put on my clothes for the first time since my injury happened.

It’s a bit frustrating when it takes a 20-year-old man 45 minutes to put on shoes, socks, sweats, and a shirt. I did, however, break a Guinness Book record for the most consecutive times an F-bomb was used in conversation. While becoming proficient in these daily activities, these tasks help me focus every micro-second.  This is the basis on how I focus on any professional and personal task that I accomplish today

This resilience to overcome any obstacle that falls in front of me spilled over to every aspect of my life.

dale-spencer-fear

Perspective Changes Everything, Including Your Fear

As a 20-year-old, my patience was thin.  I did not want it done today, but yesterday.  In saying that, within a matter of two months and MANY baby steps, I was able to get discharged from rehab and moved back home with my mom.

Mom was my anchor during this entire process.  When I felt unsure of myself, she immediately gave me a shot of confidence.  But mom could only help so much.  My goals have not been met yet.  I had to go back to school.  I knew that I was on a different journey but that journey did include obtaining my Bachelor’s degree.

What rolls through your mind as you approach your own journey?

What rolls through your mind as you approach your own journey?

So, after missing only 1 semester, I decided it was time to go back to college.  That August of 1989, I moved back into my fraternity house.  The excitement was indescribable.  Something that I did not think was attainable 8 months ago JUST became reality.  I was with my friends, in a familiar environment and back on the journey.

Then it hit me!  I went to class that first day and ALL eyes were on me.  Those childhood fears and insecurities hit me like a tsunami.

  • What were they thinking?
  • Are they judging me?
  • Are they afraid to approach me?

That evening, I went home and cried all night.  My friends had no idea what I was feeling but they were there for me.  They were my sounding board.  They were my support system.

I learned a very valuable lesson that evening.  I cannot accomplish everything on my own.  

Dale believes strongly in keeping a close circle of friends and loved ones for support and personal growth.

Dale believes strongly in keeping a close circle of friends and loved ones for support and personal growth.

Dales Moves Past His Fear to Graduate, and So Much More

Each subsequent day after that first day back to college, my skin got a bit thicker.  Now, 25 years plus post-injury, I do not even register those stares.  I am too focused on any given task.  Whether this is from giving a keynote lecture to thousands to just going to the local grocery store.

My advice to you: Don’t allow any negative energy affect your life.  Do not let their narrative become yours.  Support systems are invaluable to our successes.  To this day, whenever I have a problem, I know that I can reach out to a friend, family or colleague for help.

Find your own support group here.

See Dale Deliver a TedX Talk on Fear!

Through my rehab experience, I have learned that I can use my fears as fuel for success.  With focus, energy, maintaining a positive attitude, tapping into my endless supply of resilience and receiving help from my support systems, I can accomplish anything.

Build up your support as well as your self-talk for times when you have questions or doubts.

Build up your support as well as your self-talk for times when you have questions or doubts.

When you come up to any obstacle, you can just ask yourself several questions to help propel yourself forward as the following activities will do so:

  • Are you prepared for what will be coming your way?
  • Will your laser focus help you navigate those treacherous waters?
  • Do you have enough energy to accomplish the task?  What I mean by energy is body, mind, and soul.
  • Are you working out, consistently?
  • Are you educating yourself on your craft, daily?
  • Do you meditate or reflect on what the day has in store for you or what you had accomplished the previous day?  Meditation can be as little as 5 minutes and as long as you prefer.
  • dale-speakingWhat is your attitude on life?  If something traumatic happens to you, will you be paralyzed preventing you to move forward or will you look at it as a glass half full which will help you propel forward?
  • Where is your resilience hidden?  Do you realize how much perseverance you have inside you?  Take a look and you may be surprised.
  • Do you think you can do everything on your own?  If so, get over yourself and invite that help.  We ALL have support systems but do we utilize them?

The above are inner attributes that we all have.  Tap into them if you have an impending fear that you are not convinced that you can overcome – because you absolutely can!

What Do You Say?
Share Your Thoughts in the Comments Below.

About the author:

Dale-on-wheelsComfort Medical Ambassador Dale Spencer was leading the life of an average college student when at the age of 20, an unforeseen injury changed his life forever. Left paralyzed, Dale had to adapt to new ways of doing everyday tasks, getting around, interacting with people, finishing college and entering the workforce in the Chicago area. Dale has triumphed over adversity and risen to the top of his profession. He continues to give back to his community, grow and take on new challenges.  Dale says, “My Mission Statement is to help as many people as possible to overcome their fears so they can experience success and happiness in every aspect of their lives, and most importantly, embrace their journey.” Contact him via: www.dalespencer.com, www.facebook.com/DaleJSpencer, Twitter Handle @DSpencerFearNot, Instagram: @dspencerfearnot, YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNvC4SJJPNhEUZ1PiRfkE3A

Have a question for one of the Comfort Ambassadors? Let us know! Contact us here.

Or, find a peer support group near you using our helpful reference guide!

A blue and grey hollow sphere with Comfort Medical written next to it.

Comfort Medical delivers the leading brands of catheters and ostomy products to customers who use wheelchairs nationwide.

Comfort Medical delivers the leading brands of catheters and ostomy products to customers who use wheelchairs nationwide.

comfort medical brochureThe Wheel:Life-Comfort Medical Relationship

Wheel:Life is now part of the Comfort Medical family! With more than 26,000 followers on social media, we served more than 100,000 website visitors with lifestyle resources in 2015.  To help us expand our community impact, we have become part of the Comfort Medical organization.

Thanks to our relationship, we are able serve even more people who use wheelchairs with lifestyle resources, helpful products, and services.

Comfort Medical provides an extensive selection of name brand catheter and ostomy supplies to thousands of customers nationwide.

Their attention to detail, unmatched customer service, and dedication to helping customers live a happier, healthier life are just a few of the many reasons Comfort is one of the fastest growing catheter and ostomy supply companies in the nation.

If you have any questions about your medical supply needs, click here to get in touch with a Comfort Medical specialist!

Note: The Comfort Conversations articles are for informational use only and are not intended to be construed as medical advice. Ask your doctor about issues related to your health and medical needs.

 

Recently Published

»

How Veteran Todd Kemery Stays Active with His Tetraplegia with the Help of Peristeen® for Bowel Management

Editor’s Note: Just a couple of weeks before finishing his military ...

Three men on an outdoor stone staircase. One of them is carrying another in a backpack. The third is spotting from behind.
»

We Carry Kevan Is Redefining Accessibility

Editor’s Note: In 2016, Kevan Chandler and a group of friends took ...

»

On Ice, Rock, or Indoors, Paradox Says Climbing Is for Everyone

Editor’s Note: This year, Wheel:Life is partnering with Paradox ...

A side view of Jayden sitting in his wheelchair smiling at the camera. There is a grassy lawn and a lake in the background. The sun is setting.
»

Jayden Chapman Shares His Pursuit of New Goals Post-Injury

Editor’s Note: As a lover of movement, all aspects of Jayden ...

»

Fixer Upper Family Gives Back through Raising Wheels Foundation

Editor’s Note: When Melissa and Jody Copp noticed their firstborn ...

»

Here’s What Happened in 2019 — Tell Us What Yoocan Do in 2020

If you’ve been following Wheel:Life for a while, you’ve probably ...

»

How Anthony Orefice Spends His Bonus Time Post-Injury

Editor’s Note: In 1993, Anthony Orefice struck a telephone pole ...

»

Chasing Adventure: How These Storytellers Do It and Yoocan Too

Think back to the last time you experienced a little adventure in ...

»

From St. Louis to LA: Meet the Newest Rollette Conner Lundius

Growing up in a small, cozy town in Southern Illinois, Rollettes star ...